Endless Dreams & Wishes

Complications!

2007-09-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

haiz. jus wen i thot all was ova. it had to start again. i tink its de final time. i am jus too tired to fite anymore. i donno wad i shud do. this is not me. i cant even bring maself to talk to someone abt dis. cos i maself cant believe that im in such a situation. FaRk la. im sad, kinda broken too. jus try not to ask me why? its a very sensitive issue that i cant talk to anyone abt it. i wish tings wud get better but instead its getting worse. I thot we cud be frens, well we tried to but i guess good tings don't always last rite. why did i even get maself into dis. im jus complicating tings for maself. well i jus needed an outlet to let out what im feeling. i'll definitely miss de idiot. if its dat's how its meant to be, i cant do anyting more. i wish i was by the seaside.....

2007-09-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional.
You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly.
Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you.
You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature.
Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

2007-09-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

You Always Hold a Grudge

If someone wrongs you, you aren't likely to forgive them. You figure they've showed their true colors.
You've been known to cut people out of your life pretty frequently. And maybe you've even sought revenge a couple times!

Do You Hold a Grudge?

2007-09-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

Haiz. Juz felt lyk blogging but no words to type. I feel hurt, upset, depressed and super fed-up with wad's going on ard me. 2day was one of de worst days of ma lyf. Never felt dis lonely and bothered. Wish i cud figure things out while it's still happening. The only source of happiness i have now is de sweet innocent love of ma children. I jus hate wad's happening within me. De bez part is i let it happen. Haiya. Do not wish to talk abt it anymore. Feeling is such a complicated issue and a lady's heart is even more complicated. When i finally decide to move on, ma love life has to be in such a hurricane. Nvr knowing when it will stop. Grr!

2007-09-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

Your Love is Based on Friendship

For you, chemistry doesn't really happen without compatibility.
Companionship and openness are the most important parts of your relationships.
Whoever you love should be your best friend.
And falling in love with a good friend is never out of the question.

Why your love can last: You only fall for people who you truly understand... and who truly understand you

Why your love can fail: Sometimes you don't admit how important physical chemistry is to you

What Is Your Love Based On?

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive.
You understand people better than they would like to be understood.
Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details.
You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on!

Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done

Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

2007-09-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

You Are An Introvert!

You're not necessarily anti-social, but you do tend to need a lot of alone time.You tend to think before you talk, which doesn't make you the loudest person in the room.While you aren't outgoing, you are a good listener - and you tend to be a loyal friend.And you enjoy your friends as much as any extrovert does, in smaller doses.You're more of a conversation over dinner type than a party animal... and so are all your friends.

Are You An Extroverted or Introverted Girl?

2007-09-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

You Are Basic Panties

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty.
You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy.
Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it.
And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

~Confused Mind~

2007-09-05T05:15:00.000-07:00

Yet anoder late entry.. Jus felt lyk blurting out some of ma thots.. Kinda feeling abit lonely dis days.. I din realise it till dis few weeks when i wanted to tok to sum1 badly.. Clear ma thots and knock some sense into me.. i feel lyk a lost child in dis world.. i donno wad's going ard me.. I don even noe wad's going on within me.. But i noe that someone's gonna get very hurt theorugh dis ordeal im going thru.. i nvr had dis prob den y now? i wanna be free away from everyting.. its reali too much to handle.. i don wanna tink anymore.. all i wan is ma smile baq.. but onli i can do sumting abt it.. haiz.. lyf's full of complications eh? i wonder how to solve it each day.. instead of tinking for a solution, i end up getting more confused.. y did i let maself into dis shit?!! its not fair to dos ard me.. im reali sry if i had hurt u.. im bound to do dat somehow..

Enuf of lamenting.. its boring.. jus came baq frm a ngee ann lib and had a horrible dinner at Al-Ameen with pufi.. de food jus lost its tastiness.. oh, well i came baq hme and felt so miserable dat i decided to blog.. Its holidays for me and im catching up on ma slp.. well not for long, i gotta go baq to skool and do ma class for next term.. grr.. Time passes so fast, well i cant wait till de next skool holz.. Anw, im deciding to take degree nxt yr.. Hopefully i can pull thru it.. afta much thot, i decided i want to pursue ma career in psychology.. Its gonna be difficult as im gonna wrk and study.. wad's success without hardship rite.. i wanna make it as someone.. i know i can and i will..

4th Sep: ystrday was one of de days that i cherish most.. Cos it was de mark of 1yr of knowing ma dear moka!! It all started at de sentosa beach.. We got to know each oder btr, we got close and we stood by each oder till 2day.. Sadly, tings aren't dat gr8 as b4.. All good tings do come to an end rite.. Haha.. this doesnt mean im leaving him or vice versa.. i feel tings between us just lost its excitement and stuff.. Its lyk der's no more lyf in our relationship.. We have been seeing each oder for months alr, im sure its natural.. rite? we gotta wrk it out boy.. im sure we can pull thru.. for tt i mus help maself 1st.. i bet rite now, ya are cursing, 'its all becoz of u misha!' haha.. well, i nvr had de chance to say dis to u but i reali cherished de time wif u.. ya always stood by me, making sure i was ok and constantly loved me for who im.. all dis mean alot to me.. i wanna say a BIG thank-you for withstanding all ma nonsense and tolerating me.. I love you 4 dat. Hope tings get btr..

*Its not fair of me to continue wearing de chain so i took it out and gave to baq to u.. i need help and guidance.. pls show me de right path and take a decision which i wont regret.. im going mad la.. cant believe im toking to u abt dis.. it sux ya noe.. to be in dis kinda situation.. haiz!! its ok.. time will reveal all..*

Im baq!

2007-08-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

I was feeling kinda bored and realised it has been an awfully long time since my bolg was last updated.. So here i am.. Well i have been both bz and lazy.. Work is really tiring and all i want to do is to rest aftr each day.. Since today is national day, i thot of giving sum lyf to the dead blog.. :) Im having holz 2moro as well.. Whee~ Glad to be in de education sector for de holz.. While most of dem out der are slogging, i can take the much needed rest during this days..

Let me jus vent out all ma built up frustrations both in ma personal and work lives.. It was so much easier to work in groups in school.. We cud adjust and accommodate each oder so well.. but at work, i jus feel lyk tearing them apart.. grr!! so angry with dem.. Esp in the K1 level, which is where im in.. One of the teacher, jus drives me up de wall man! Always hand in her lesson plans late and never prepares her materials on time.. What the hell?! so how are the rest of the teachers to do their lessons.. All she does is to eat and eat and eat.. And she's farking thin, mind u! During assembly, she will drill the children to stand in a single square and stand super straight.. I'll get so pissed in the mrng esp if she doses that to my class children.. She claims that she used to be a supervisor in anoder centre.. Its so unbelievable dat she was.. I cant tolerate her nonsense any longer man!! One last chance for her; if she is gonna get on my nerves again, im going straight to the principal..

Whoa!! All built up frustrations let out!! Not all; der's more to come actually.. haha.. I do come to ma blogs to chk de tag boards and i see unknown ppl tagging.. both nonsense and somewhat logical questions.. I didnt noe i create such a impact in their lives that they are so interested with what i do and who im with.. Sheesh!! im honoured.. Thnx ppl.. Whateva im going to say is what i think and not aimed at anyone.. If ya start getting guilty with ya face turning red, i suggest u close the window and go do sumting more worthwhile.. Well, its more than a year since viky passed away.. I went to the temple with mokan and jus prayed for him.. Thanx alot for following me, it reali meant alot.. There are lots of times i think of him and wished he was still ard.. If he was ard, i wudnt be treated de way i was.. I cant do anyting cos i believe ppl very easily and failed to see their ulterior motive they have.. Yea im stupid.. i always have to learn the hard way.. So be super cautious with whoeva you are with.. You may nvr noe when they will turn their back and call u a bitch.. There are always 2 headed snakes everywhr.. Recently i got a tag frm sum1 named bee.. Do i have to ask ppl's permission to see someone or date them.. Don't i have the right to choose my life path.. I am moving on with my life but that doesnt mean i have 4gotten all abt viky.. He's still in ma heart and he'll always be.. None can change that.. This is MY life and only I can live it the way I want to!! So jus keep ya comments to yourself..

Ok now everyting is out.. Jus a note to end dis entry.. Right now, i am very happy and living my life to the fullest.. i have got everyting by me.. A gr8 job, loving family and wonderful frens.. Including the special one who will always stand by me good or bad..

*I still wish u were ard.. i miss you so badly at times.. all i can do is reminisce the memories we once had.. the 2 years are the most precious to me.. tho we had our ups and downs, undeniably we loved each oder very much.. I wish i had more time with ya.. I will always think of ya and continue loving ya.. God bless u my dear!

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-05-15T06:13:00.001-07:00

2007-04-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need.
You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law.
While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top.
You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Heyya ppl!! i noe its na awfully long time since my last update.. I am so bz with ma work and all.. i hardly eva get time to sit infront of ma comp and blog.. i noe ma frens have been missing me.. hehe.. so i decided to sacrifice some of ma rest tiem to blog now.. well, its a brand new year for the tamils.. hope tings go well for everyone.. anyway, i have been doing really gr8.. I got a job and being very happy with ma life... so yupz.. :)

Work is damn hectic cos i have so much to do but so lil time.. and ma class is a lil terror.. Goodness gracious!! ma orning class is not so bad except for dis boy who can literally drive me up de wall.. everything he has a qn.. like i will say, "Class, i want you to colour this picture." and he will be like, "Colour dis pictuuuure?" (Try to imagine it in de indian accent) God!! I can tear ma hair out for my aftrnn class.. Aiyoo, der are more gals but all damn talkative.. everything single thing, they have to complain and comment!! But der's a boy in ma aftrnn whom i reali attached with.. it mite be abit of favouritism.. haha.. de ex-class teacher had said dat he has special needs... i should say he's excellant academic-wise but socially impaired.. i can see changes in him.. he used to hit his frens suddenly but he knows he shouldnt do dat.. and now it has stopped.. i love dis lil one alot.. always teasing him.. haha.. i dont sound lyk a teacher anymore.. but he reali has an impact on me.. once de class made me so angry cos they were not listening.. and i was practically giving them a tongue-lashing (it wasnt dat harsh).. De boy's name is kishan and he was helping to keep de tings at the learning corner.. So i told him to hurry up in a very firm tone.. and all he did was, just smile and say ok teacher.. b4 i knew it i was laughing.. Damn de children must have thot wad a lunatic i was.. hahaa.. dat's abt for ma class.. :)

Abt ma life.. i shud say dat ma personal life has been affected so much since i started working.. i rarely go out and even den its always to eat.. lol!! my papa is so nice to me cos he understands my situation so well.. and my temprements has gone haywire.. im so touchy and get moody very fast.. all i can say is thanx a million for tolerating it... any other in your shoes would have jus burst.. haha... and im missing ma gals alot too.. hope to go out with ya soon.. im going broke actually and ma cough is back.. hopefully, we can still go out for dinner sometime soon.. argh!! i miss ma poly days.. jus 2 months and i have alr started missing it.. im gonna miss de food de most.. haha.. hope i can drop by soon.. but with ma schedule, by de time i reach skool all de shops would be closed.. haiz..

*Happy belated birthday!! see i nvr 4got and never will.. i do miss you at times but i mus say dat im truly happy.. actually, i have never been happier b4.. i jus hope dat it will be accepted as how i wan it.. i reali hope sooo.. take care.. i still do love you..*

2007-03-10T07:23:00.001-08:00

Saturday Date with ma Bitch.. =)

2007-03-10T07:19:00.001-08:00

Sunday Lunch on 4th Mar

Doesnt it seem delicious? Well i wud rate de food 3/5.

Can we jus start eating? LOL!

Ma Sweetie-pie and me! =)

Itz ICE-CREAM time.. YAY!! :P

Want some?

The Reunion of the 3 Angels..

WE just love disturbing her.. Hehe!

US at it.. Again..

2007-03-10T06:33:00.001-08:00

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Bold and daring, you're not afraid to change your life if you think it needs an overhaul.

Practical and down to earth, you're a doer not a dreamer. You rather get something done than think about it all day.

Your emotions tend to be nervous and potent. Your energy - both positive and negative - deeply impacts your life.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

Wanted to blog on friday itself but was plain lazy la.. had a gr8 day man, atho i was sabo-ed by the teachers.. haha.. it was actually a farewell party for the 2 teachers who were leaving SKG.. but actually they alr planned to give me a surprise as well as a welcome to the SKG family.. Lil did i know they will actually carried it out.. haha.. cute la all of dem.. i was very colourful and the coloured powder stank so much.. haha.. dey took pics of me anw, so i 'll try to get and post it asap.. haha.. im looking 4ward to work thr and be a part of the family.. im alr seeing so much of work politics and dislikes.. haha.. so weird cos from de outside it doesnt seem anyting lyk wad it is inside.. hmmm.. i wanna be a neutral party anyway.. but sometimes wadeva they say abt oder teachers.. its always funny la.. haha.. so crude la i.. anw, kinda feel abit awkward cos all teachers are older den me and im the youngest der now.. some teachers find me quiet.. haha.. at first im always quiet den.. haha.. no nid to say la.. well, im jus looking forward to the years come at SKG..

2day i met up with mena.. we were supposed to go 4 a mani and pedi.. jus to pamper ourselves.. so i met up with her at tekka with her mum b4 going bugis.. we had a gd and very-filling lunch at BLue Diamond.. yummy!! haha..den went to do some marketing with her mum.. aftr dat, we went bugis.. we roamed in bugis street 4 awhile and went to do our mani and pedi.. but instead onli did mani cos of the shoes i was wearing.. haiz.. nxt week la.. hehe! well, dis mena so clumsy.. she had to repaint her thumbnail 2ice.. haha.. she could onli choose red cos of de SIA.. i chose a brown shade.. it was nice and relaxing to spend time and rest der.. den aftr dat we met up with mok and went to bugis junction to take neoprints.. funny la dis gal.. always up to nonsense.. but i still love ya lots ma bitch.. one of ma true frends who i will nvr give up for anyting.. im reali gonna miss ya lots wen ya start flying.. :( but i guess i will still put a big wide smile on as im still happy and proud for ya babe.. :) well i will put up de pics taken last sun with sharon and agatha and de neoprints with dem and mena.. So long ppl.. Take care.. Tata!! (",)

*Havent got much to say but im geting bolder as days goes by.. as if im not scared to show wad i have got by ma side.. well, i shudnt be scared but somehow i was.. i shud not be as this is ma lyf and happiness.. and now it will revolve onli ard wad i've got.. a rare diamond among the gem stones.. and im reali reali happy with ma lyf.. and all i wanna say is, we are destined to meet and got each oder.. i wont complain nor will i eva leave it cos i have learnt to appreciate and treasure wad i got.. I don wanna compare cos i have learnt and understood alot of tings from both.. 2> I love you! =)*

2007-03-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

What's Your Love Style?

Hey ppl.. de above is jus some random quiz i did.. Jus to make ma blog abit more interesting i'll try ma very best to post dis quizzes at least every day.. is been long i noe.. i gotta upload de pics of the lunch date with ma babes last sun.. and sharon has gone to China.. hope that gal is doing gd.. and aso pics taken with ma precious bitch.. We are trying to make as much time as possible cos she's joining SIA soon.. Im proud dat she got in but damn sad cos she will hardly be here wen she starts flying.. im so sad cos of dat.. and i have been trying ma very bez to chnge her mind but to no avail.. i hate 4 doing dis to me.. argh!! Okok.. im sry, i wish ya all de bez babe.. im proud to have an air stewardess as ma bestie.. love ya loads honey.. muax!!

And im officially starting as a kindergarten teacher aftr de mar holidays.. im soo excited and lots of wrk to do as well.. i reali hope i can cope.. 2moro der's gonna be a farewell sabotage 4 a teacehr who is leaving.. and i have been getting warnings dat der's a welcoming sabotage included.. oh my!! haha.. the teachers are damn fun and sporting der altho der are office politics.. the younger teachers are so easy to get along with.. Im sure they will make ma journey as a teacher at the kindergarten a memorable one along with the children.. well, der's more to come in ma lyf.. a new phase is starting 4 me right now..

*Im so proud of maself boy.. thot i was i'll be a failure.. but i managed to pull thru all de hardships and hurdles.. i reali thot i can nvr make it.. but look whr im now.. i learnt alot while being with ya.. i realise all dat wen i think back.. they are all valuble lessons that make appreciate and treasure ma lyf.. i love ma lyf and i don wanna trade 4 anyting at all.. Ma decisions are clear and ma path is right.. All these are wad i want and i will do all i can to achieve them..*

2007-03-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

Ma new bag.. Loving it!

This dress.. oooh! im simply in love with..

Cute lil dress, i like too..

Plus Plus all dos dining out.. Spent close to few hundreds man!! Conclusion: Going broke b4 end of de month is definitely PRICELESS!! Its not tt bad i guess, i can still survive.. Hopefully.. God pls show some mercy.. Make me blind!! Im buying wadeva is nice.. Haha.. im bad at handling ma expenditures.. I can totally imagine how it will be lyk wen i get married.. Oh dear!! I mus change for de btr.. Anw, 2moro miing up with ma darlings for lunch cos dear sharon is flying off to China.. Haha.. ya are going to where ya came from.. *Bleahs* I can wait 4 our small lil date.. Yum yum!! missing ya gals alot.. Im sure we will have alot to share.. And agatha im waiting 4 ya to tell me sumting.. haha.. Well its actually up to ya.. Just rem we will always be here if ya nid ta tok ok.. anw i gtg soon.. So take care!! Eat well and rest well!

*I miss ya.*

I got a JOB!!

2007-03-02T03:50:00.000-08:00

Hooray!!! Seems lyk de interview was a success.. Im supa happy!! Still on temporary basis i guess.. i'll be going to de nursery class till 9th mar den i'll be in ma new class.. Dat same k1 class i took on tues.. Killer man.. See wad i predicted came thru.. haha!! but im darn happy.. im no longer jobless!! :D

Anoder gd news is i have gotten ma salary and im spending it lyk water.. Went shopping and lots of dining out.. im scaring maself.. oh god.. Got 2 dresses which im totally in love with.. A Puma bag and few blouses 4 ma work.. i shall take pics of de dresses ta show ya soon.. haha.. im gonna get a new fone aso... yayness!! I wish i wish.. 4 maself to stop spending already.. tsk tsk.. I gotta learn how to use ma money wisely..

*Im supa happy.. With everyting dat's going on ard me.. Im starting to miss him badly.. Ya noe who.. Jus cos of sum immaturity by a person, we gotta move away.. I bet he doesnt noe dat's de main reason.. He may tink dat its cos of me.. actually its jus de part of de reason.. main reason was 4 him to be happy.. i hope he is.. no1 have any idea how mch i wanna tok to him and hug him.. Haiz!! so sadz la.. But i'll always wish him all de bez in his lyf.. Hope he's doing good.. Take care of him and dos ard him.. Boy is dis hard or wad!! Everything stuffed in, waiting to be let out.. Well, nthn is in our hands..*

2007-02-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

Hello ppl! Quite a long time since i updated.. My weekend was a blast man! Watching movies and sleeping lyk a log.. What more can i ask?! Last fri was my last day as a relief teacher.. Was so sad as i will miss ma nursery chn so so so much.. Haiz.. But i went 4 an interview 2day.. Tings went out well, teachers boosted my confidence.. They said i would definitely get the job.. i reali hope so too.. And 2moro they called me baq for another round of relief teaching, now in k1 class.. Looking forward to it.. Somehow im having this feeling that im gonna be assessed how well i can manage a class thru 2moro's relief teaching.. I believe i can do my best, So wad de heck.. Wish me luck alrite..

Watched 2 new movies.. Finally, its abt time i went out.. I watched Ghostrider and Pachaikili Muthucharam, Eng & Tamil. Let's start with Ghostrider.. Whooo!! A reali reali cool movie.. Go catch it if ya haven't.. I bet ya will be sitting at the edge of ya seat.. Guys will, with no doubt, drool ova Eva Mendes.. She's hot man! Seriously.. I noe guys will drool all their saliva ova her in this movie.. And gals, we can feast on Nicholas Cage.. Who cares abt his age?! He still has a rockin' hot body.. Whoa.. And the part he turns into this burning skeleton is simply wow!! I reali enjoyed the movie.. Go catch it soon.. :) Now now 4 de tamil movie, it was a totally different movie experience.. I hate dat blady Jyothika even more.. Sickening Bi**h!! Her acting was good though.. But quite slow-moving with an interesting plot.. the movie wasnt dat bad.. its so-so.. And the famous line from it is, 'I want to make love to you.' Haha.. Tamil movies are fast catching up with the Hollywood.. Pufi and David got excited ova dat line and kept saying it.. Haha!! Cute la de 2 of dem.. Thanx 4 de movie darlings, enjoyed maself again..

Waiting 4 ma salary now, so dat i can go watch many more movies dat are pending in ma list.. Yay!! Well, i gtg now.. So long dearies.. Take good care of yaself and enjoy ya lyf.. ;)

* I have nthn much to say lyk b4.. I cant feel ya lyk i used to.. Whr are ya? Jus come baq cos its reali weird witout ya.. Some incomplete feeling in me.. Im getting bolder as days go by.. Everyting is silent rite now, and im expecting all the natural disasters to explode all at once.. Hope tings end well.. ANd jus cum baq ok.. im missing ya presence badly!*

Class Chalet Pics!!

2007-02-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

She loves dos very much.. I donno y..

I'll miss ya very much SJ!

Sharon got influenced aso.. Haha.. And i din noe they were doing dat!!

Crazy Lil gals!!

The 2 angels! :D

I'll miss u badly gal.. Love u loads!

Running away from a kitten!

Im not de only one with a phobia of cats.. haha!

Long live D02!! haha..

Lavi's Bday

2007-02-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

The place we ate at..

Our dinner.. It was nice..

Sing Kavi Sing!!

Glad to see ya smile gal.. Hope you liked de surprise!

The cake.. Actually its a Manhattan Pie

"Who's Navanya?" haha.. Name spelt wrongly!

The cake looks yummy!

She cudnt cut thru de cake.. And she gave up trying!

The Magarita Makkal! Haha..

The 3 Musketeers! :D

Happy Bday Gal!

The Four of Us

2007-02-20T01:21:00.000-08:00

The final day of the holidays.. All goodness have to come to an end one day.. Haiz.. But the holz was a gd break for me.. Managed to catch up on all the lost sleep.. Well Well, cant be a pig for a life long rite.. ya gotta wrk to get ya rewards.. Ystrday was good.. Went to Sharon's hse 4 CNY and had a gd lunch.. Esp de prawns, yummy!! haha.. Had a gd time at her place.. Her family is so friendly, esp her aunts.. They are so generous, altho agatha and i dont celebrate CNY, we still got Hong Baos.. So sweet of dem man!! Her Godma so funny and active lady.. Sharon, thank u so much 4 inviting us and de wonderful lunch at ya place.. Love u lots gal!! Hope u enjoyed ya day.. Den aftr dat, had a surprise 4 Lavi's bday.. its actually 2day but we went out 4 dinner ystrday.. Darn de place was so expensive.. It was at AMK's New York New York.. But de 'alaiyaraaningz' was too much!1 Kavi is a pandikutty man!! I had to go search for Bengawan Solo jus to find it closed.. Den had to walk all de way to Jack's Place and walk baq to the AMK Hub.. Tiring la.. But still worth the surprise we gave Lavi.. Sry gal, dint get ya anyting cos de shops were closed and i reali dont noe wad to get.. Anw, i'll upload de chalet pics and her bday pics.. I can onli upload Sharon's hse ones wen i get 'em..

*Somehow, ya name doesn't come out as easily as it used to.. Maybe becos of me or someone else.. But wadeva it is, ya will be nvr 4gotten.. I dont care if any1 wud wanna believe it.. Cos i noe maself more then any1.. Ya memories are thr but de frequencies of them are fading.. I cant find words to say how much i have missed ya and missing ya.. Am i lucky or wad to have gotten someone so understanding and tolerant... Somehow, its thanx to ya dat im learning to treasure and appreciate wad i have got.. And i wud nvr wanna let it go.. thanx for all the gd and bad times we shared.. I love u..*

2007-02-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

Let me see.. It has been ages since i last updated.. Cos im so bz.. Juggling work at the kg, kmon and stuff at hme as well as ma personal lyf.. I was so stressed dat i kept getting frustrated ansd screaming ma head off at ma poor chipmunk.. im reali sry.. nvr meant to be lyk dat.. but thanx alot 4 staying by me as i needed ya so much.. i last updated abt ma 1st day at work and now im at de 2nd last week of ma work.. I would love to continue there.. i jus love those kids and the environment, although its not easy at all.. and the timing is so irrgular cos thr are so many tings that has to be done in one day.. Jus 2 weeks with ma nursery, i had to go to the k2s to be floater cos thr were major chnges with the timetable.. The older ones are more entertaining la.. haha.. laff so much while with them.. but i miss ma cute lil adorable nursery chn.. haiz.. ma whole of last week was so packed that im beat at the end of the day and all i can tink of is SLEEP! I shal go thru wad went on with ma days..

12/2: Class Chalet
I met up with chipmunky to go to pasir ris.. as usual abit late la.. but de monkeys frm ma class had gone swimming at the Wild Wild Wet dat they took sum time to return.. Luckily, i saw PeiShi at Pasir Ris interchange cos i had no idea of the chalet number.. And none of them were picking up ma calls.. I had fun time der.. All those yummy food, and wonderful company.. wad more can i ask eh? Well, the credit for the food definitely goes to Jacq and San San.. It was supa yummy.. :D Oh, yea we had cam whoring as well.. but im yet to get de pics.. once, i have gotten dem i shall definitely upload alrite..

14/2: Valentines' Day
Had an interview.. Can ya imagine, i was late 4 it.. Haiz, no sense of timing la.. Anw, i got a lovely lily for V.Day.. Loved it even tho it was jus a stalk.. but its the thoughts that counts alot.. i reali enjoyed ma day even when i was super super TIRED!! Had Dinner at Gluttons of the Bay at the Esplanade.. The food was heavenly la.. Had Stingray, BBQ chicken and Sambal Kangkong.. I reali enjoyed ma food except there were 2 tings that kept annoying me.. Those DARN FLIES and that DAMNED CAT!!!! The flies are such irritaing pests man, cant even eat peacefully.. And there was dis reali huge fly which jus irritated the shit outta me.. Stupid flies, i hate u!! Ok, i have a major phobia of cats.. i'll run miles away if i eva see one.. Try asking ma frens, dey'll tell u.. oh ya, Agatha took photo of me and sharon running away frm a cat at the chalet.. *PAISEH* Coming baq here, the cat was near ma chair, ma leg.. Argh!! i cud feel ma body tensing up and having gooseumps all ova.. it jus wont go away noe.. it destroyed ma whole mood during the dinner.. I still hate cats.. And sry, i cannot overcome ma fear ok.. i have a darn phobia and i'll do all i can to stay away frm dos creatures.. *Sticks out tongue* Met up with Agatha and Shawn 4 a 2nd round.. haha.. Aggie was driving so she asked to join dem.. So shameless la, crash their date.. haha.. btu we still had fun.. Crapping and laughing... See Agatha, i told ya i will have no probs miting up with ya unlyk our Sharon.. We had gone to Fish & Co.. Had desert and a drink 4 maself.. Agatha so rich liao cos she offered to treat us.. Thanx ah.. Haha.. Well, dat was de end of ma day and was dead tired wen i reached hme.. Cos next day, i still had work..

16/2:Chinese New Year Celebrations and Dinner with Kumon Ppl
The indian Kg aso celebrates CNY ok cos they wanna create awareness among the chn.. and the chn were encouraged to wear the traditional chinese clothes.. So cute la, esp ma nursery class.. Then they had a drama on how the Zodiacs came about.. Quite interesting and i learnt something new.. Haha, ok u can call me a dumbo cos i had no idea dat the Zodiacs actually had a story behind it.. Wahaha.. Well, it was quite relaxing on dat day cos i had few free periods and so i kept visiting ma nursery class.. I miss dem terribly!! Well, then i rushed home aftr wrk cos i was going Tanjong Pagar to have dinner with ma colleagues as well as ma boss.. And i had to be der by 6.. abit late la.. Aiyo, again.. Mishal have some timing sense will ya!! okok.. Den i met up with naz at the MRT station and tried finding our way der.. It was raining and as always singaporeans will always be singaporeans.. Jostling their way through the rain and umbrellas.. Idiots!! We went to one of ma colleagues' mum's shop.. It was a Turkish Cafe.. I have never tried the food before.. So i was abit scared cos im a reali picky eater.. But the food turned out to be delicious.. Whoa!! Damn shiok.. Something different yet tasty.. i enjoyed ma dinner and got some time to wind down as well.. Den ma boss so kind to treat us and send us home.. Ain't i lucky?!

Today is 18/2 and it is CNY!! Happy CNY to ma frens.. 2moro aso got an exciting day but shall tok abt it 2moro.. I shall end here.. Thanx 4 reading and rem to tag ok.. Tc ppl.. Muax!! :)

*I can finally accept the changes altho' i feel its too soon.. so im not reali prepared to tell the world of ma changes.. i dont care if some noes or wad so long they kip thier mouth shut abt their judgements abt me.. I jus dont get dem, why must be so interested in some1 else's lyf wen yours is alr lyk a drain choked with waste.. So i hope ppl who tink they noe everything, i ought to tell dem dat u noe nothing so jus kip ya fucking mouth shut and lead ya lyf ok.. im sry da.. i noe ya hate dis but its just defrustration dat gets de better of me.. i shudnt be bothered with these ppl rite even i considered them ma own, once a upon a time...*

2007-02-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

Ystrday was ma 1st day at wrk.. I was quite excited and nervous.. ma 1st real job dat i wanted and de feeling of how im going to handle it... well, de supervisor said dat i mite have a chance to work afta ma relief period so she wud have ta see how ma performance now.. i was sooo happy.. Imagaine getting a job ya always wanted.. Haha.. de kindergarten is quite near ma place and the teachers and children are just so wonderful.. wad mre can i ask? LOL! 2 day is gonna be de 2nd day, hopefully tings go well again.. im blogging now in case, i have no time later.. But being kg/cc teacher is seriously no joke.. Cos it cant so energy draining!!! im so tired but de chn will kip me going.. :)

B4 i go, jus wanna tell abt dis boy in ma class.. Aiyoo De most challenging one i have seeen man! He cant tok cos of he has not grasped de language yet.. but as wad de teacher said, he can understand wad we tok.. but every time, creating nuisance la.. cant control him.. tsk tsk.. shall do ma bez with him.. haha.. and he is so chubby.. haha.. so i cant carry and throw him out of the window.. ok im being mean now.. i will NVR do such a ting ok.. i love kids.. it can be irritating at times but wen they give ya thier angelic smile, like ma chipmunky, it can jus melt all the irritation or frustration... Anw, gotta go get ready 4 ma work.. tata! Muax ppl..

2007-02-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

The day has finally come.. the last day of year 3.. I wasn't reali affected by the last day till ma last lesson. The lecturer gave us time to think and reflect abt certain tings that happened during the 3 years.. that's wen i started tinking..abt ma classmates, ma closest frens.. i broke down wen sharon was toking alr.. but control abit la.. then wen it was ma turn ta tok, i reali cried.. i had to stop half-way to cool maself down.. i started tinking how tings were wen we were in skool.. im gonna miss sharon alot!!! sum1 who is close to me frm de start of the year till de end.. she was ma 1st only chinese best bud i have.. and she managed to tolerate me these 3 years.. All dos complaining, gossiping is gonna cum to an end.. im sure we'll kip in touch but it's jus not gonna be de same anymore.. ahhh.. feel lyk crying again.. but wadeva it is, de memories of the 3 years will always be der.. As for agatha, i dont have ta worry abt her la.. i'll be in constant touch with her wan.. haha.. so confident.. but yea, somehow i know it.. dis 2 gals have played great roles to mould me as who im now.. thank alot galz!! i'll miss u and the whole class of D02.. I love u ppl!

well, im now a diploma graduate.. haha.. ok not yet.. ma graduation is in june.. am gonna wrk for the year b4 i go do ma degree.. but de ting is i mus get a job rite.. im trying to look into the kindergarten sctor.. so if any1 has any contact, tell me ok.. thnx.. well i ended fri quite well.. went out to town, ate lyk a pig, took gr8 neoprints and played arcade.. spent quite abit.. but its ok, all worth it.. and i had lots of fun.. a form of relaxation afta all dos projects and assignments..

well im gonna stop here.. i wanna slp alr.. now dat i'll be more free, i'll try to update more.. btw, i have a temp job at Sarada Kg.. it's temp, hopefully tings go well.. i cant wait to join and im supa excited.. haha.. so wish me luck ppl.. Good Night!

*Hello.. tings are going gr8 4 me.. altho at times i feel guilty abt being happy.. but then again, y can't i be happy.. is it cos i loved ya? well, i still do but it's different now.. ya will always a special place in my heart.. nvr to be gone.. but i still have a life of ma own rite.. my desire to be happy, and im sure no1 noes it btr den u.. i reali hope to have ma life run smoothly.. i noe i have made mistakes.. but i jus wan some of them to know that i dont always make mistakes.. and i wanna prove them wrong abt ma choice.. Loving u always!*

2007-01-30T00:05:00.000-08:00

Time reali pass very fast, doesn't it? It was jus like the start of the month and now, it's the end alr. And next week is my last week of school.. Damn fast man!! I wish time slows down.. Everyting's reali moving at top speed. Soon, im left to fend for maself in the cruel world.. even though, its gonna be end of ma 3 years soon, i still have loads of project to do.. i will try to update asap.. for now, i gotta chao ta do work on ma last assignment of ma course.. shall update real soon ppl.. till den, kip missing me. :D

2007-01-09T20:46:00.000-08:00

Its a brand new yr finally!! and i got a new comp.. yayness!! so i'll be updating ma blog more often.. its been so long since i wrote an entry.. so did anyone miss me? i bet ya did.. haha.. thick-skinned! but i don care.. Let me jus wish everyone a very happy and proseprous Happy New Year!! Hope de start of de year was gd 4 ya.. well mine was.. even tho' i was at hme.. i loved it.. with ma mum and toking on de fone with 'angel'.. den on mon (1/1/07), went 4 dinner at Swensens with mena sweetz, willy darling, malar gal and 'angel'.. Had a blast with dem altho, mena had ta leave shortly.. It was still gd as i spent ma brand new day with ppl i love..

It has been abt a week since skool reopened frm de term break.. Situation seems btr, as we ar taking our time ta do assignments.. Soon, der will be stressful outbreaks as de deadline nears.. but i haf faith in ma group members, we can still do a gd job.. :D

Ystrday was day of fun, with all de makeup session and grooming workshop.. Its actually to train us on how to present ourselves during interviews and in de working world.. damn cool man!! haha.. Contemplating ta go shopping soon, get new make up and clothes.. haha.. Jus less den a month away for last day of skool.. Very sad, as im gonna leave np very fast.. All dos memories stays fresh in ma mind.. 1st time i met viky aftr years.. eating non-stop like pigs, hanging out aftr class.. every lil tings ar deeply etched in ma mind.. i loved de poly years and cant wait 4 further studies.. im still deciding of wad i wan ta do in life.. so many options and so lil time.. Special Education holds reali gd prospects.. Starting pay as fresh grad can fetch abt S$1,600, if im not rong.. anw, its not ez working in de field of special education.. requires ALOT of patience.. but i relai don mind giving it a try and see how tings go.. Still got time (i tink) can decide slowly.. haha.. Anw, i still go assignments ta be completed.. so gtg.. Till nxt entry.. Ciaoz!!

*Smiling aftr very long.. All cos of sumting wonderful happening ta me.. Sum wans it ta be erased while sum wud love me ta continue with it.. I noe wad i wan but im jus so worried as how it mite affect oders.. i reali don wanna ruin relationships with ppl ard me.. it has been 6 mths.. time passes so fast.. not a day is complete without a thot of ya.. moments and memories still replays itself in ma mind.. altho im getting used ta ya absence bit by bit.. i mus say i miss u very much.. i believe tings wud be sooo much different with me if ya were ard.. Cant believe dat im getting involved in sum kind of trouble wit reali doing anyting rong maself.. it feels shitty.. but luckily with true frens ard me, dey lift ma spirits up.. jus love dem ta bits.. pls look aftr every1 and r.i.p dear!*

2006-12-13T23:39:00.000-08:00

Today had a gathering with the guys at AMK Pizzahut.. Hmmm fun fun.. Food aso so yummy.. Finally satisfied ma craving of curry zazzle.. *Slurps* hahaha.. We met up cos Willy is leaving 4 camp on Mon.. I'll miss lots.. Haiz.. NS? Why does it hafta exist man?! It has been ard an yr since Viky went in 4 camp.. And it was on ma bday.. So sad sial last yr.. Anyway, i was upset dis yr too.. But wid frens i haf ard me, they managed ta cheer me up.. im jus so hapy ta haf dem in ma lyf man.. Love u guys lots..

Today had a test on dis module i hate de most.. Wah.. everyting was frm de notes.. i didnt reali study.. and im sure i'll flunk it.. haha.. together with ma oder classmates.. But de ting is i don wanna repeat any modules and stay baq.. i wanna graduate proudly nxt feb or apr ( i tink)... i cant wait 4 dat day.. Wish i can make my mummy proud of me.. 4 all de hardships she went thru, de least i can do to repay her is to make her smile and say, 'dats my daughter.' Hahaha.. Dreamer sial.. but reali.. dat's wad i cant wait to see.. Wish he was ard ta share ma happiness but i noe his soul will be ard to bless me and smile with me..

I cant reali believe dat ma blog is being famous.. haha.. ya ar always welcomed.. Wadeva i say here is ma own wish.. so yup.. Shud get de idea.. hearing sum stuff jus make me laff.. ppl jealous of me.. haha.. cum on la.. im jus anoder person who ya happen ta hate.. i've ma ups and downs too.. but i jus dont understand y ppl wud rather see me down.. Sadist sial.. im trying not ta be affected cos dis ppl jus dont matter in ma lyf at all.. i wud rather worry ova ppl who truly care abt me and love me despite de mistakes i've done.. dat's true friendship.. truth does hurt baby!!

*Mixed emotions.. haiz.. everyting is an illusion right now.. Ma dream is jus de most wonderful place ta be in.. i feel lyk im on de top of de world with nthn ta worry abt.. im nt afraid of how i feel anymore but its more of how it'll be accepted.. But right now, i jus dont understand wad's happening.. Help me resolve it.. i reali do nid ya help.. cos im confused and helpless in dis issue.. I feel ya ar always wid me in de form of ma dream.. Continue being der as tings seem much btr... Love u lots.. Muax!*

SO MANY PICS!!

2006-12-12T22:51:00.000-08:00

I was so surprised!! Sneaky ppl..

Lavi dearie and me..

Kavi SweetZ & mUah!

Rajes and me.. I seriously donno y we were laffing lyk dat..

Jus look at the difference!! :P

Willy darling & me

Me fingers ar more nicer den de cake rite.. again biting ma fingers.. Ouch!

They juz had ta do it ta me..

AWWW!! So sweet sial.. i loveee..

Kavi and me with her gift.. i love dat bag!

with de 3 i love alot.. thnx 4 surprise..

All de presents i got.. So happy man!!

With ma eva so sweet willy and de idiots behind...

I look so white.. damn de flash!! wid boy..

Senthil and me.. love u bro!!

I fell in love wid dis flowers.. Ma 1st eva.. haha!

All of wad i got fer ma bday!

2006-12-12T22:46:00.000-08:00

afta skool, and it was their plan..
So happy wid de surprise.. thnx babes!!

Hey bitch.. missed ya lots.. thnx 4 de surprise.. i was abt ta cry anw.. haha..

2006-12-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

Wad wonderful frens i haf.. with dem ard, i can nva ask 4 mre..
So surprised. yet again!
Erm.. im not ang or wad.. i donno wad i was feeling aso..
With ma presents.. dress, card and bracelet..
Looking thru wad de gals did fer me..
MA bday kiss.. and thnx fer de beautiful dress..
Loving u gals so muchie..

Act cute onli shawn!! but stil i lyk de pic..

2006-12-12T22:41:00.000-08:00

Shawn and me..
Thnx fer de surprise sweetz..
Shawn.. i love u.. Finally a hug 4 u.. still so shy..
Look ma! im cooking here aso.. Wahaha!
I LOVE YOU & a big fat kiss man!
Acting cute.. I look cacat sia..
de real her.. Blady pig!
I jus love u despite wad we went thru!

So cute la both.. haha!

2006-12-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

Ma bday is ova.. and i had 2 surprises frm ma frens.. i reali didnt expect it... was so happy dat i haf frens who love me and care abt me.. it's mre den enuf 4 me and i dont haf ta worry abt dos who hate me so much fer no reasons.. it was reali de most memorable bday i have had.. It may not be de same as ma 18th but still i appreciate ma frens going thru so much to make ma bday a success.. i love u guys always..

this is our ma surprises went. 1st surprise: Afta skool, kavitha wanted me ta follow her ta westmall.. She said she wanted ta get sumting.. i believed her even tho it was lyk 2 gd ta be true.. all of a sudden, she called me ta follow her der. so i met her at sim.. waited fer sum time.. pig la she.. 4eva making me wait. haha.. its ok.. shud get used ta it alr.. den on our way, in de bus she said dat her fren took de rong notes and had to go baq ta get it.. we had ta turn baq aftr we got her stuff frm westmall.. o va der, she forced me ta get sumting fer maself.. felt awkward at 1st, but she kept nagging.. so in de end, i got dis cool handbag.. which i was wanting ta get.. thanx alot kavi dear.. den we hung ard fer awhile more b4 heading baq ta skool.. she even tricked me ta say that her fren didnt noe her ways ard de skool cos she has nvr been ta np.. and again, i believed her blindly.. after takin me rounds, i finally found de truf.. they were planning a surprise.. reali dint expect it.. de guys were der.. was so happy and pleasantly surpirsed. .Love u guys alot..
The 2 nd surprise was aso very unexpected. i had ta stay out till 12 with one of ma frens. we chatted till it struck 12.. even ma mum was involved, cos wen i told her i'll be late she dint even reply me.. i was complaining dat she dint care at all.. haha.. Wen i reached hme, der was a note saying dat i cudn't enter till i collected de clues at the lift landings. i new sumting was going on. but wen i reached hme, i ws even more surprised as they was mre ppl den expected.. mena, she didnt cal me at all, yet she was der.. so was willy dear and malar.. man!! i was reali surprised.. ma hand was shaking dat i cudnt cut de cake properly.. im so gifted ta haf frens lyk u guys.. Thnx a million.. Ma bday was made memorable, all thnx ta ya efforts.. Love u guys alot! muax!!
The whole day i spentg at hme, slping dat is.. all de excitement reali drained ma energy and slpet lyk a log.. but in de evening, i planned with agatha and shawn ta go have dinner at marina.. steamboat.. we took so long jus ta decide whr ta go ta eat.. haha.. dat conversation was funny.. at marina, de food was gd.. and i enjoyed each and every company of dos thr.. i love u guys.. cant stop saying dat can i? haha..

Thr will be alot of pics.. Shall upload a soon as i get it..

I wish ta thank dis ppl with all of ma heart:

Kavitha
Lavi
Rajes
Senthil
Boy
Willy darling
Sharon
Agatha
Mena dearie
Shawn
Malar
Special one =)

*happy bday maself! i was abit sad dat ya ar not ard ta wish me lyk de past 2 yrs.. even tho, ya weren't here physically, ya always live in ma heart and many others ard.. i'll take their wishes as behalf of urs.. jus wish dat tings din haf ta turn out dis way.. but i mus admit dat tings with me ar going on gr8.. jus haf dis insecurity within me cos i noe wad i've decided may anger some or even cause them ta hate me.. but all i wan dem is to understand how i feel and accept.. if dey loved me as they claim to, im sure dey wud wan me t abe happy and live me lyf as how i wan.. altho, i said i wudnt i did eventually.. its too precious fer me ta let go.. i heeded wad ya said in the end.. i wan ya ta bless me with the dicision i haf made.. i cant be bothered with de societ.. im jus more concerned with ppl i love and ard me.. pls help me thru dis.. Missing ya.. With lotsa love!*

Camp at Saradha Kindergarten

2006-11-22T23:03:00.000-08:00

Biggest campfire i eva saw!

Agatha and me at the campfire..

De cute lil one who talked so well. .cute smile he had!

Dis created an impact on me.. and i was so sad to leave dem. .haiz!!

cute lil boy again! and cute big gal.. :P

All acting cute.. Finally, all in same frequency. haha!

The helpful volunteers for the campfire..

2006-11-20T05:48:00.000-08:00

De bday cake which was ruined ltr.. :D

Wad a reaction? See how surprised dey ar. .Pandiz!

De bday gals! Happy Bday ta ya 2!

Kavi's special cream facial.. haha!

Rajes with de cream.. :)

With de gang at pasir rise.. willy missing.. he's behind de cam..

4 pretty ladies.. which will u choose? Tough choice eh?

Jus look at us fooling ard.. muahaha!!

Act cute.. But de real cute is.. hmm.. me? no la.. itz Hayley!! =P

Ma mikey darling!! So happy..

With de pretty hayley sweetz!

2006-11-20T05:13:00.000-08:00

Finally sum time and a comp to blog.. Ma comp is down for de time being. .so cudnt reali update.. and well, de pressure is on as the projects start cuming in.. aiyoo.. but i still mus push maself ta do well.. i tink i can.. i've got ma angels ard em ta help.. so yup.. i'll try ma bez ta update as often as possible oraitez..

Anyway, last weekend was a blast man! went to sarada kindergarten to do sum volunteering. it was 2 days and 1 nite camp for de k2s.. Damn cool sia.. de kids.. aiyoo.. jus love dem.. in de end, lyk so difficult ta leave dem lyk dat.. reali vry sad leh.. somehow managed ta overcome it.. haha.. iwas so damn tired afta de whole ting.. cudnt slp de nite b4.. flr was hard and had ta kip shifting de chn all nite.. den der was dis boy who woke up and was crying.. had to pacify him and put him ta slp.. i felt lyk 1 big mother der.. haha.. and i cant wait ta haf ma own chn.. dat is if i get married la.. sure will haf sum blockhead born for me rite.. wahaha. . nvm dat..

den i came baq, got dressed and went to pasir ris with boy and lavanya.. it was lyk a picnic and surprise 4 kavitha and rajes.. we supposed to mit at 2 noe.. end up mtg at onli abt 4 plus at pasir ris.. all thanx to ms kavitha.. aiyoo.. she ah.. haf de worse sense of timing sial.. change 4 de btr ma dear gal.. i punished her 4 being late.. cake facial! haha.. she so cute.. willy added mre cream to enhance her beauty even further. haha.. she so ang.. but she got her punishment.. haha.. spent very lil time with dem.. b4 i noe it, i had ta leave to go to ma uncle's place.. quite sad, din wanna leave.. at de same time, din wanna disappoint ma mummy.. so i stayed lil while more and took a cab all de way ta woodlands.. went der and realised ma darling were cuming aso.. so i was happier.. haha.. ma mikey, hayley and rosey.. hehe.. took pics with dem.. damn cute la dos lil ones.. and i was teaching mikey ta talk in tamil.. waah!! damn adorable la he.. hahaha.. i love him so much.. den we were watching ma mummy's and auntie's younger time video.. damn funny..
ma uncle tok so cutely and he even had dis cool dance step.. haha.. so robotic.. no matter wad de song or how long, dat step was consistent.. jus dat de speed either increased or decreased.. aiyoo.. i laffed till i fell of de sofa nad till ma stomach hurt.. so cute la he.. haha.. on de whole, even tho i was damn tired, i reali enjoyed ma day.. yup.. so ma weekdays are pretty much de same with projects, skool and hme.. haiz.. i'll update de picsa taken soon.. continue missing me oki.. haha.. =P

*Hi.. i've got so much ta tell.. and each time i tink of ya, i noe ya listen.. i jus kip tinking everyting dat's happening within me.. no matter how much i tink, its so confusing.. der ar sum tings dat has ta be hidden cos its not meant ta be shared.. haiz.. not many or actually no1 will understand wad's happening.. im not sure if i shud go ahead wit ma gut feeling or wad.. i reali don lyk de word hurt.. emotional hurt is de worse any1 can get.. haf gone thru and i noe.. jus stay with me thruout dis confusion and help me make a wise decision.. will u? 3 weeks ta de most memorable day i had 2 yrs ago.. and i love you 4 spending dat time with me.. im reali missing ya lots.. weneva i tink of dat day, how i wish it'll happen again.. haiz.. am gonna slp soon alr.. b4 dat mus do more projects.. nitez!*

Senthil's 22nd Bday pics!

2006-11-11T09:42:00.000-08:00

De small, lil, cute yummy cake

SURPRISE!!

Observing de cake.. dey were too many holes on de cake.. haha..

*He's so happy.. hapi bday bro!*

Black aftr his camp.. looking so macho.. haha..

Love dis 2 idiots alot.. plus de one above.. :)

Kavi dear's turn..

Kavi's kolam on thil's face.. mre handsum ah.. LOL!

Bday boy was biting me hand instead of de cake.. painful noe..

Bro & me.. with thil's freaking finger..

2006-11-11T09:06:00.000-08:00

yea yea.. haf been hafing a pretty bz week.. by de time im hme, haf no mood to do anyting else but hit de bed.. haiz.. can imagine how tired im.. as if dat's nt enuf.. suddenly hafing body aches and de worse is de chest pain.. aiyoo.. hafing it 4 past 2 days alr.. but trying to tahan.. hope nthn happens. .haha.. well, if fate is lyk dat, no one can change it rite.. hmpf.. lyf can be very unpredictable.. so its bez ta take anyting into ya stride..

Ystrday was senthil's bday.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SENTHIL DEARIE!!
gave him a surprise at Ngee Ann.. He was reali surprised.. we got him a cake and a shirt.. spent de evening crapping in ngee ann.. i missed everyting sia.. it was reali wonderful spending time with dem afta such a long time.. senthil gave me a ride ard campus in willy's big bike.. whoa!! scary la.. he went so close ta de road at de bend.. but it was reali exciting.. haha.. was holding on so tightly.. crapped abit more and den we decided ta leave as de gals had ta get hme fast.. Wonderful willy, boy, black and senthil got on bikes on left soon afta. .dint even care how we were gonna go baq.. all de way out to the road, scolding dem.. haha.. kavi u damn cute sial.. love u loads dear.. it was nice toking to u. . thnx 4 listening.. Sum pics ta enjoy..

*I donno y.. but der ar idiotic ppl who tink dey noe everiting tt happened in ma lyf. .dey noe it even btr den u sial.. haha.. funny leh.. i noe how i much loved u and how much u loved me.. and dis ppl out of nowhr, tinking dey noe every bit of our relationship wanna poke their stinkin nose into ma lyf.. cant help wondering, dont dey haf 1 ta wry abt.. y wry abt wad oders doing.. aiyoo.. i reali dont cre wad dey say.. dey dont noe me nor de love we shared.. its always just between us.. i love u no matter wad.. u will nvr be replaced..*

Boy's 21st bday!

2006-11-05T19:03:00.000-08:00

Ystrday went to boy's 21st bday party.. it was at dis changi chalet cum function rm.. felt damn uncomfortable with de idea of attending it.. cos wud be seeing sum unwanted faces and how i mite be trated and all.. but it turned okay.. not bad.. even if he wasn't ard, i was still visible to sum.. haha.. unfortunately, cudnt avoid de fact dat i had ta see sum faces.. well, wad ta do.. ya jus gotta deal with it.. wasn't gonna let dem ruin ma evening.. de guys were so bz with preparations and all.. but i cud feel dat der was sumting major missing in the party.. it wasnt dat noisy enuf.. as wen dis guys get 2getha, trust me.. ya will start wishing dat 'won't dey eva shut up?' haha.. reali.. i noe wad was missing. .it was too obvious to miss out.. if he was der, it wud haf been mre lyk a 21st party. .seriously.. usually, at gatherings whr it involves de sna1 ppl, i wud always wanna go jus cos he'll be der.. but dis time it was so different.. cud sense dat de guys were missing him.. but dey didn't reali show.. i shud take ma hats off ta dem.. he was such a pampered guy in his grp.. haiz.. y do tings turn out in such a way.. seeing dem al2getha made me soo sad.. and i was fighting ma tears baq.. i didn't wanna destroy any1's mood.. took sum pics at de party.. enjoy it!! Thanx to all dos who geniunely cared and still caring 4 me.. Love u ppl always.. *MUAX* :)

Finally! Black and me.. [dis guy i missed alot.. and love alot too..]

Ma sweet willy and me.. missing u loads!!

Babloo darling with mishie..

Lavi dearie & me + Willy's fingers! aiyoo..

De beautiful ladies and me..

Classic grp shot.. haha.. as usual, irritating senthil..

My darling and me.. [ i don't care abt wad u tink!!]

SEnthil and me.. missed dis idiot so much.. haiz!

Bday boy with his angels.. :P

*dar.. It is diff.. without u.. how i wish u cud be here.. im beginning ta hate de way fate plays with ma lyf.. did i mention dat i chose de reality world instead of de dream.. part of de dream will still live with me.. however, its no longer de lyf im gonna lead.. letting go wasn't ez.. but somehow i had ta do it.. with feelings getting hurt.. b, it isn't ez ta be lyk dis.. but somehow, i end up in dis kind of situation whr i hafta choose either or.. jus hope dat u will look out 4 me.. i will always love u ma dear..*

2006-11-03T21:40:00.000-08:00

Aiyo.. so long since i last updated.. all ready to vent out frustration built inside.. damn.. i dont understand y im getting blamed for tings i dint do at all.. dis is de 2nd time its happening.. dont reali wish ta say wad izzit.. its alr hurting to noe dat u were cause for sumting even if u weren't directly involved in the whole ting.. wad's even more hurting is dat both were ma gd frens b4 but due to some reasons we parted.. But still dont dis ppl noe btr abt me.. i reali donno wad ta say but its affecting me alot.. i wish i cud mend tings but i mite jus make tings worse rather den make it btr.. man!! lyf's difficult.. and anoder ting.. y ppl pretend so much.. say 1 ting and do anoder.. still wanna compare ya shitty ass with me.. damn.. im totally diff frm ya.. yea rite u love him alot.. lyk as if.. i dont wish ta let ma blood pressure shoot cos of ya..

i donno y but i feeling very weird dat sumting reali bad is gonna happen.. im nt strong at dis point of time and i've no1 ta lean on 4 support. .der were onli 2 who knew everiting abt me.. one is him and anoder ma bro.. one is high up in heaven while oder is too bz with skool stuff and his lyf.. im feeling as if i have been abandoned.. by de ppl i love alot.. im making mistakes continuously.. i jus dont understand y i cant learn frm ma intial stupid mistake.. haiz.. torn betw de reality and dream world.. i btr make a decision and stick ta it.. cos i cant carry on lyk dis.. i dont wanna a fake happiness.. sumhow, i love being a princess in de dream world den a lonely bitch in reality.. but as all noes, dreams ar just 4 awhile.. it can fade sooner or later.. im reali sry if i had offended any1 wit wat i jus said..

*I cant stop tinking abt everyting.. reading black's testi in ya page made me cry.. how u guys used ta be.. its so obvious as in how much he's missing u.. i wished i cud jus do aniting ta get u baq.. i wud love ta take ya place instead.. but its not possible.. i wan u by ma side.. guide me thru.. stick with me.. cry with me.. smile with me.. everiting u did b4.. i sooo badly nid a hug.. and how i wish it wud be frm u.. at least i gotta noe de truf abt ya feelings.. im happy wid dat.. can nva erase de memories and de love we shared.. love u always sayang!*

Celebrations ova at ma hse!

2006-10-30T22:50:00.000-08:00

Ma special love.. Mikey!!

They ar twins but not identical.. Both love taking pics.. haha.. (L) Hayley, (R) Rosemary..

Joash baby!! Mum's fren's son.. So cute rite?!

Mano, Siva and me.. 2 of de few frens who survived thru de years.. =)

Ma sweet, lovable Willy darling.. Muax!

Kavi kutty & Rajes 'amma'.. haha!!

Love dis 2 so much!!

Closed ones... Mok had to spoil it with his goofy smile..

My beloved Momo and me!

Muku (Giant) and me (Dwarf)

2006-10-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

No time ta update.. haf been very bz wit all de festivals and wit skool.. will upload de pics soon.. de weekend was gr8.. went ta ma granny's hse den ta malar's place and finally to mokan's hse.. idiot la he.. no brains.. put so much food. .i alr ate lyk a pig.. jus feeding ma baby.. oh ya.. im pregnant.. by ma fren's bf.. few mths alr.. haha.. onli ma closed ones know de father.. :P

den on sun, went ta vinod's hse.. slack der somemore.. it was all fine until, sum arse had ta purposely create trouble.. ended up spoiling every1's mood.. wad's rong wit her.. mind ya own lyf la.. it was fun oder den dat.. mok followed me hme.. so sweet.. even tho he lives miles away.. i was complaining ta him de nite b4 how dos foreign workers stare at ya even tho ya ar fully clothed.. man, it was reali scary.. dey look as if dey can jus eat ya up alive lyk dat.. goodness.. so he decided ta play hero and followed me hme.. der was a major difference.. i din feel dat violated anymore.. cos mok was too bz staring at dem dat dey wanna look at me.. wahaha.. but ma weekend was still gd.. enjoyed maself vry much.. cos i was wid ma darlings.. love u always guys.. anyway, following monday had skool.. felt abit sian to go but still had ta.. one of de most impt mod dat i mus attend.. it was ok i tink.. cant reali rem wad went on dat day alr. .haha.. sry!

on tues, it was hari raya.. went out again.. ta ma shawnie's hse :D met up wid mok den we went togetha.. his hse so big and nice.. all de 3 gays haf reali big and nice houses.. *sighs* haha.. feel so inferior comparing mine wid theirs.. but wad de hell.. its not de size dat matters.. its de loveee and feeling being at hme.. wahaha.. lyk as if rite.. still had fun der.. altho' de host was so bz doing wad aso.. aftr dinner, disappear ta gamble.. anw, i had fun.. thanx alot deariez..

*dis deepavali is so diff.. cos ya ar not part of it.. well ya ar not here ta share de joy.. but im sure ya ar not 4gotten at all.. i wish ya ar in a asafe place.. im reali scared dat sumting mite happen.. and im nt sure if i can face it all by self.. pls be right beside me..*

Deepavali Celebrations!!

2006-10-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

afta shawnie's hse.. Loving dis 2 angels.. *muackZ*

looking all pretty in sari.. :D

All so crazy.. we love being dat way..

Mok and his 'slacker' expression.. at vinod's hse..

Loving dis 2 bitches.. Haha.. ;)

at mok's hse

2006-10-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

i met ma darling bro afta so long.. jus 4 awhile but it meant alot cos i missed him many many!! lect was pretty fun 2dy aso.. karuna isn't dat bad.. she makes de lesson quite interesting wid her stories and all.. but de gurmit.. haiyo!! can die la.. she and her instructions.. she so damn draggy and long-winded.. y do we get lecturers lyk dis.. how ta be motivated ta do well.. im mus wrok on ma own.. so far de modules haf no exams so dis sem is all project-besed.. reali die!! so much of work and percentage.. and everyting is gonna cum 2getha.. wonder how i can cope.. hopefully i manage ta pull thru dis sem.. i dn wanna repeat any modules.. i gonna persevere(dat's de correct spelling rite?) and do ma very bez.. i wanna boast now.. haha.. i got an A for ma practicum paper leh. .so happy!! =D
2dy felt so fucked up. .tings seemed so weird and awkward.. haf no idea wad's reali going on.. mayb we shud tok it out instead of hafing dis silent argument which isn't gonna bring us anywhr but making tings awkward between us.. i noe ya ar worried and all.. but we alr took a decision.. so u can relax.. we'll be fine and ya gotta believe in us.. if ya ar gonna move away, nthn is gonna get btr.. instead we ar gonna be blaming each oder 4 wad's going on.. it's not any1's fault k.. so i don see y all dis shud be happening.. if ya reali wan us ta be happy, ya shud stick ard and jus be how we used ta be.. i aso feel tings ar not de way dey used ta be.. it didnt seem dat bad wen 3 of us were 2getha but now it is.. if sum1 shud move away, i tink it shud be me.. and im nt ang or wadsoeva.. so ya dont haf ta wry abt dat.. im sry if anyting i did or said (indirectly) hurt ya.. cos i din mean ta..

*Y ar doing dis.. i wanted ya ta help thru dis situation but it has becum worse.. i shudnt haf gotten in-between dem ah.. i shud haf kept ma distance away.. i feel so bad at wad's happening.. y do o haf ta hurt sum1 in sum way.. cant i jus kip smiling 4 abit longer.. sumting has ta happen and ruin de lil happiness dat i haf.. haiz.. its nt fair.. y do i haf ta experience all dis.. saw boy 2dy.. missed him so much.. he was toking abt ya.. as usual dstrbing me and irriating me.. dat's wad he does bez wad.. missing ya da.. *

2006-10-17T04:48:00.000-07:00

it was 2nd day at skool.. Yayness!! aiyo, i jus realised dat mok's 'ness' word is getting stuck ta me.. haha.. he and his supa lameness.. haha!! he's still nice and i love his hair.. :P
2dy, der was 3 modules.. 1st mod was on parent education and de lecturer isn't too bad.. she makes laugh effortlessly, with her expressions and all.. so lyk small gal.. haha.. ma 2nd mod was killer man! de lecturer was supa boring.. she reminded me so much of one of ma classmate.. kept looking at her and laughed alot.. she got so irritated dat she threw highlighter at me.. wah, violent sia! but it was fun dstrbing her and i tried so hard ta kip awake.. slpt quite late last nite and had ta wake up supa early.. aiyooo.. im missing out on ma slp.. ta make tings worse, i had a stiff neck wen i woke up.. damn pain sia.. cannot move so much, managed ta give self-massage but still not very effective.. mok i nid ya powerful massage ta make me feel btr.. haha!
Skool was ok so far.. but kinda slpy de whole day.. met up wif dis mano afta a long time.. we had lunch 2getha and hapened ta tok abt our sec skool lyf.. damn! dos were de days.. a bunch of "tharathalais".. afta skool, de indian gals frm ma sec skool will head ta pp mac.. 4 wad? ta go see guys frm st. andrews.. aiyoo! terrible la... haha.. dat's how i gotta noe mano.. it has been lyk 6 yrs since i noe him.. whoo, time flies so fast.. and i miss hanging out at pp mac 2getha.. it has been taken ova by de young bunch now.. so funny.. weneva i see dem, get reminded of we were last time.. it was reali wonderful being young.. so enjoy while ya can!! =P

Jealousy.. it's nt reali a very gd emotion but i always feel it.. esp, wen sum1 else hovers ard ma close frens and loved ones.. its pretty hard ta say how ya feel as its reali difficult to admit it.. y do we feel it..? cos we don wan any1 coming in-between de ppl we ar close ta.. its understandable.. but its even btr ta tok it out and clear tings rather den bottling it up i guess.. jus felt lyk toking abt dis.. sensitive i noe.. but i jus wanna write i feel lyk.. =)

*Ya bro ah.. say wanna cal but till now nva cal.. den suddely, he'll cal and tok and stuff thots ta ma head and make me tink lyk a mad woman.. seriously da, im so much happier den b4.. but dat doesn't mean ya'll eva leave me heart, cos ya nva will.. ya hold a special place and ya'll always do.. no1 can take ya place.. jus help me wid wad's going on and i reali hope all ends well.. Lovin ya..*

2006-10-16T05:38:00.000-07:00

Finally de day dat i was waiting eagerly for, came.. Haha.. it was de 1st day of ma last sem in Np.. feeling happy and sad.. afta 2 mths of holidays, i reali missed skool alot!! so of cos im reali glad ta haf cum baq.. at de same time. im sad cos its ma last sem and am gonna miss so many stuff abt Np.. haiz.. i cant stay der 4eva rite.. de ting is am still deciding on wad shud be de nxt step ta tke.. which is nt reali gd as dis sem will be finishing within lyk abt 4 mths.. haiz.. sad sad!!

went for lunch at tekka.. whack blue diamond briyani.. wahaha!! supposed ta mit dis kavitha at sim.. but she gt oder impt stuff ta do lyk ta go do her contact lens.. see? wad's mre impt.. hmpf!! its ok kavi... i had him all ta maself.. haha!! Had a fun day despite dat disappointment.. happiness surrounding me.. its reali been long since i felt lyk dat and i've got only ya ta thank 4.. thanx 4 trying ya bez ta be always der.. reali appreciate it.. =)
Came baq hme 4 a short nap and did more cleaning.. aiyoo.. luckily, ma share of wrk is done.. hoho!! sumtimes i wonder, do i owe ma lyf ta any1.. y do i've ta tell every single shit i do.. I noe it's worrying ta be a parent and all.. but can at least try ta respect ya child.. am not a kid anymore ta kip breathing down ma neck.. it gets so frustrating at times, lyk im nt free ta do anyting i wan.. jus cos of dat, i've ta kip ma desires all within me... its nt fair.. not at all..

*I've nt been happy 4 a long time.. im starting ta smile whole-heartedly.. and i reali hope dat it's wid ya blessing.. i don wan any problem 4 any1.. i wanna live ma lyf de way i wan.. but still sum realtionships close ta ma heart dont reali allow dat.. so pls make tings btr 4 me.. i hope u'll do.. Love u!*

2006-10-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

For de past 2 days, i've been real bz dat no time ta blog at all.. So here's wad happened on dis 2 days..

09/10/06

had ta wake up damn early ta mit mena ta get sum stuff frm her.. wah.. had a very short tok wit her.. but at least btr den nthn rite.. missed dat bitch so much.. haiz, hope she has time 4 me eventually.. Went baq and had a small nap.. woke up and did abit of cleaning, and left ta mit agatha at de harbourfront shopping centre.. and guess wad! i got lost in vivo city.. damn!! de place so big, was practically going in rounds and up and down... aiyooo!! haha.. im damn blur.. yes, go ahead laff at me.. cos i dont care.. (=p) we were gonna get sum stuff ta bake cake 4 our sharon dearest.. it was her bday de nxt day and we had planned ta surprise her at her hse with de cake baked by us.. went ta her hse, put our bags and went ta eat at de coffeeshop.. shawn and his cuz all were der..we ate stingray and kang kong.. it was agatha's treat.. so nice of her.. haha.. for once, it didnt feel dat awkward with shawn and agatha as der were other ppl aso.. haha.. afta a heavy dinner, went baq ta agatha's place and started making de cake.. and i broke a egg.. it wasn't solely ma fault k.. it jus happened ta roll down and break at ma feet.. and poor agatha had ta clean it up cos i cudn't stand de smell of de egg.. *yucks* thanx darling.. de cake turned out well and it was very yummy.. of cos it'll be, so much of hardwork k.. i kept stirring and stirring till ma hand ached.. and agatha was measuring de stuff and looked afta de cake while it baked.. alas, de decoration was done by shawn afta i went baq hme.. in abt an hr, i took ma bath and went ta toa payoh ta mit agatha and shawn..so we jus hung ard de blk ta wait till abt 12.. agatha had told sharon dat she was driving her bro's car and was dropping by.. she believed it! we 4got her flr and went in search by stopping at every flr frm 12 till 14.. haha.. den near her doorstop, we lighted de candle and were waiting very quietly.. it seemed lyk tiger waiting 4 its prey lyk dat.. of cos la, it was so late alr.. den agatha called her and asked her to cum down so jus as she was cuming out of de hse, we sprang a surprise on her.. she got scared la.. haha.. she kept laffing non-stop.. knew she was damn happy and surprised.. we went into her hse, ate de cake(yummy!!), took pictures and jus had fun even tho's it was 4 very short time.. i reali hope she enjoyed her bday.. so both ma darlings' bday ar ova now.. so happy!! managed ta play a part in making dem smile.. love u 2 loads!! can't wait 4 skool ta open so we can spend mre time 2getha..

10/10/06

Happy bday sharon dearest!! Ya ar finally 19.. lol!! Hope all ya wishes cum true sweetheart.. Loving and missing loads!

Came baq frm granny's place.. but was still so tired cos of de excitement de day b4.. don wish ta tok abt wad happened on dis day.. i guess wad shudnt haf happened.. and i slept so early.. haha.. ard 7 and den wok up ta eat and slept again.. im such a pandi la!! called ma cuz momo afta a long time.. we had gd chat afta a reali loooong time.. missed dat gundu gorilla so much.. so we decided ta mit de nxt day.. watch a movie..

11/10/06

Woke up early ta do abit of hsewrk and went ta mit momo ard 11 at ps.. den we walked down ta cineleisure ta watch movie.. supposed ta watch stay alive.. but dis idiot jus had ta get excited by de title and rating.. idiot.. so we went ta watch possessed instead.. it was still early so we went ta eat and play arcade 4 awhile.. afta dat, it was ta de theatre.. argh!! wad stupid movie it was.. more lyk porn movie la.. imagine watching it wid a guy.. eee!! so awkward! it was abit dis gal who noes magic, going into de city ta work in a bar so dat she can earn money 4 her sick grandma.. she ends up using de spell against one of her customer and fellow bar-top dancer.. wen she uses de magic, she's nt supposed ta do a few tings.. but she does all 3 of dem without realising it and turns into sum blood drinking monster.. even den aso nt scary.. aiyoo.. thanx alot momo!! haha.. but i still enjoyed ma day wif ya.. de shopping and toking crap.. it jus nva stops.. thnx 4 making ma day..

im sry 4 wad happened.. it was totally ma fault.. din expect tings ta go dis far.. i jus don't wan ya ta get hurt knowingly which is wad ya ar doing.. it's unfair cos ya dont deserve dis.. pls pls open ya eyes and see wad's bez 4 ya.. it hurts me each time ta see ya get hurt and its all cos of me.. im reali and truly sry 4 wad has happened.. hope ya do understand..

*I gt reminded of ya so much dat i cried without realising it.. im missing ya badly.. thimithi was 2 days ago.. kavi told me dat ya'll wake up and do it dis yr aso.. guess we were having false hops of u cuming baq.. dat temple jus too many memories.. wher i 1st saw ya and ya proposing.. lol! and even being so naughty afta thimithi 2 yrs baq in de temple itself.. haiz.. jus too much.. im still confused. .wad's going on wit me.. izzit cos i don wanna accept de change or i reali donno.. i nid more time ta tink.. jus help me thru wid dis pls.. remembering u always.. love you!*

2006-10-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Wad a tiring day it was 2day! woke up and did some more cleaning of ma room.. having been trying ta do dat 4 weeks now.. haha.. so ya can imagine how messy it was.. finally! im gonna be done.. whoo!!now it will be onto de kitchen.. tiring man.. but still enjoying it.. haha! it takes up ma time and i dont hafta tink abt unwanted stuff. .so yup! den went to srngn ctrl ta get sum stuff 4 de hse.. de nxt day afta deepavali, ppl cuming for dinner.. so excited and at de same time gotta make de hse reali spick and span.. de week afta dat, im calling ma frens ova 4 dinner.. im going ta be cooking sum dishes aso.. haha.. in de mrng, i've got basic driving test and so i gotta rush dat day.. hmmm.. i cant wait!! it's gonna be fun.. haha.. had a stupid argument with siva.. again.. aiyoo.. jus cos i said dat i dont wish ta tok ta him playfully, he hung up on me.. so damn irritated la.. nva give me a chance ta tok.. i was jus trying ta kid ard.. ya shud noe me btr idiot.. den for real, i told him i was nva gonna cal him again.. and now he msging ta confirm..haha.. i noe de fight nva reali lasts, cos in de end he'll still miss me.. haha!!

ystrday, was toking ta him.. we kinda realised dat we nid more time to tink and take a gd decision.. So let a few more days pass la.. den we shall tok abt it again..

*As days pass by, memories of ya seems ta be fading.. im nt sure wad's going on.. but i'll noe soon.. Rest assured dat nthn can erase ya memory frm ma heart.. ya'll always live der no matter wad.. Still missing y!*

2006-10-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

It was graduation day at de centre i was attached to last sem.. So i was called to volunteer ma help and i asked agatha along.. So she came near ma blk and we walked down to de kindergarten.. as we were walking, she was toking abt de stuff dat has bn bothering me fpr quite some time.. i guess she agrees with wad i've decided.. but she kip comparing me with herself.. argh!! gal, ya story and mine ar totally different.. reali.. mayb a few similarities.. but jus stop with de comparing alrite! Anyway, den we saw mok's melons.. haha.. 2 bad, he wasn't ard to savour de pretty sight.. LOL!!! De kids were so excited abt de concert and i was trying to dress dem up.. it was rushing at times but i still enjoyed maself very mych.. its de pleasure of being with de children dat reali mattered ta me.. and ya agatha found a bf der.. haha.. he so damn cute.. and i became his sister in jus short while.. anyway, i was in his nursery class way baq in ma 1st year.. So he does recognise me and we were jus trying ta fool his classmates dat we were sibilings.. And den, shawn came ta fetch agatha afta de graduation ceremony.. We chatted 4 awhile.. agatha and i took pictures on his bike, and he was so scared dat his bike will fall and all.. haha.. afta dat i went baq hme.. and ya sumting so annoying happened.. Dis siva and his fren wanted ta mit near ma place and i said ok.. den wen i was going baq, he can even ask if we cud mit at 11 instead.. frm 7, it became 11.. i was so damn pissed alr.. i jus told him ta 4get it.. So irritating.. imagine being stood up 4 abt 4 times.. idiot la he.. he'll say let's go watch movie and all but he'll watch it b4 me and say sry.. Wah!! i reali hate it man! If u make plans, learn ta go according ta it.. Don't be so wishy-washy.. if ya've sumting else ta attend which is so impt tt ya've ta cancel de plans, of cos i'll understand.. but don't tell me tt it always happens so tt ya impt stuff crops jus wen ya plan ta mit me.. aiyoo.. Calm down!!

Im still deciding wad can be done.. gonna be having a gd talk with dat person 2day.. hopefull all ends well.. But i noe dat both of us ar gonna get hurt in sum way.. Haiz.. It's jus starting ta get complicated..

*I gt reminded of ya 2day cos of shawn's bike.. Jus tinking y of all persons, ya had ta go.. its jus so unfair da.. in a way, ya ar spared de sufferings ya mite haf had ta go thru.. im still missing ya.. wish i cud be in ya arms.. de place whr i felt dat it was de safest ta be.. but now wen i thot i found sum1 i cud trust and smile again, i realised its jus not dat ez.. so i guess its btr ta let go den hold on ta make tings complicated.. ya live in ma heart always..*

2006-10-06T01:44:00.000-07:00

2day was quite a day.. slept late last nite.. ard 3 am i tink.. was kinda kiping mok company wen he was at de temple.. was msging him and all while he waited for his mum and sis.. he and his 'dappa' fone.. got ma msgs soo late and end up replying even ltr.. Hope his prayers cum true.. Then, woke up ard 10.. To de sound of ma mum screaming at shasha.. Aiyoo! Ma sis and me were cleaning de kitchen abit, still got lots more to go.. Den in de evening, i heard de NPICS on radio.. Damn funny la.. Dis raj toking abt cuttin de hill and all.. And fai was toking in eng all de way.. haha.. jus cudn't stop laffing man..

I donno y but it's lyk i miss sum1 more den usual.. and i cudn't even tok to de person properly.. jus so sad.. haiz.. i jus tink mayb its btr dis way, minimise de toking.. It's btr 4 de person actually.. Hmmm... I dont noe hoe ta name wad's going on within me.. I guess it's so much btr ta leave it unsaid.. Im so sry ta hurt ya again and again.. Dat's y i feel it's btr we part.. it's painful 4 me too, but i tink it mite help de situation we ar in right now.. De more we prolong it, de more hurt we gonna get hurt in de end.. i dont care abt maself, it's ya im worried abt.. i reali don wan aniting happening ta ya.. I don understand y all dis mus happen, but ppl i reali care abt jus gotta go away frm in order ta be happy.. Damn, wallowing in self-pity now!! argh! i reali reali wan ya ta be happy and smiling always.. So its best tt i get out frm ya lyf.. So whreva ya ar, i'll always pray tt ya stay happy always..

*B.. Y mus all dis happen.. I reali wish i cud figure sumting out but im jus so confused.. And im missing ya presence so much.. Pls make ma mind clearer so i can make decisions more wisely.. Loving u always da!*

Happy Birthday!!

2006-10-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Agatha!!
Hope you enjoyed ya day sweetie..
Love you loads dear!
Thanx 4 always being der 4 me.. Reali appreciate it..
And i will always be a fone call away weneva u nid me..
*Hugz* Stay pretty and talktative (:P)!! Muax!

Afta days of planning, the surprise is finally done!! Wheew.. Poor Shawn, he had to go thru so much to plan dis.. But still he managed ta pull thru.. Of cos wit our help.. Haha!! Even tho' it was jus few of us, it was still fun.. De bbq food, the game and alot of talking c**k.. haha.. Vinod was so damn irritating la!! haha.. Took taxi baq with him and mok.. And aiyoo, he jus cudn't shut up 4 a sec! Prata shop.. Kungumum.. Nonsense la he.. Haha.. Came baq and was knocked 4 few hrs.. But ma damn irritating cough woke me up.. Its been lyk weeks since i got dis cough and it doesn't seem lyk going away.. Med frm de dos don't seem to be wrking.. Aniway, afta anoder quick nap, i had ta go 4 wrk.. i actually left frm wrk early so tt i cud go to agatha's hse but on ma way i realised dat i was damn tired and slpy.. So i din't go.. So sry gal.. Den came baq hme aso no rest, had to clean up de kitchen and im not finished with it.. Deepavali is taking a toll on me with all dis cleaning.. Haiz!! But der's always de fun part.. Shopping!! haha..

I got so carried away doing dis blog dat i 4got i was slpy.. Haha.. Im gonna go ta ma LaLa Land now.. Zzzzzz..

*I noe ya'll watch ova me.. pls help me take de rite decisions and guide me thru dis.. i love you and missing u loads!!*