Wednesday, September 05, 2007
~Confused Mind~
Yet anoder late entry.. Jus felt lyk blurting out some of ma thots.. Kinda feeling abit lonely dis days.. I din realise it till dis few weeks when i wanted to tok to sum1 badly.. Clear ma thots and knock some sense into me.. i feel lyk a lost child in dis world.. i donno wad's going ard me.. I don even noe wad's going on within me.. But i noe that someone's gonna get very hurt theorugh dis ordeal im going thru.. i nvr had dis prob den y now? i wanna be free away from everyting.. its reali too much to handle.. i don wanna tink anymore.. all i wan is ma smile baq.. but onli i can do sumting abt it.. haiz.. lyf's full of complications eh? i wonder how to solve it each day.. instead of tinking for a solution, i end up getting more confused.. y did i let maself into dis shit?!! its not fair to dos ard me.. im reali sry if i had hurt u.. im bound to do dat somehow..Enuf of lamenting.. its boring.. jus came baq frm a ngee ann lib and had a horrible dinner at Al-Ameen with pufi.. de food jus lost its tastiness.. oh, well i came baq hme and felt so miserable dat i decided to blog.. Its holidays for me and im catching up on ma slp.. well not for long, i gotta go baq to skool and do ma class for next term.. grr.. Time passes so fast, well i cant wait till de next skool holz.. Anw, im deciding to take degree nxt yr.. Hopefully i can pull thru it.. afta much thot, i decided i want to pursue ma career in psychology.. Its gonna be difficult as im gonna wrk and study.. wad's success without hardship rite.. i wanna make it as someone.. i know i can and i will..
4th Sep: ystrday was one of de days that i cherish most.. Cos it was de mark of 1yr of knowing ma dear moka!! It all started at de sentosa beach.. We got to know each oder btr, we got close and we stood by each oder till 2day.. Sadly, tings aren't dat gr8 as b4.. All good tings do come to an end rite.. Haha.. this doesnt mean im leaving him or vice versa.. i feel tings between us just lost its excitement and stuff.. Its lyk der's no more lyf in our relationship.. We have been seeing each oder for months alr, im sure its natural.. rite? we gotta wrk it out boy.. im sure we can pull thru.. for tt i mus help maself 1st.. i bet rite now, ya are cursing, 'its all becoz of u misha!' haha.. well, i nvr had de chance to say dis to u but i reali cherished de time wif u.. ya always stood by me, making sure i was ok and constantly loved me for who im.. all dis mean alot to me.. i wanna say a BIG thank-you for withstanding all ma nonsense and tolerating me.. I love you 4 dat. Hope tings get btr..
*Its not fair of me to continue wearing de chain so i took it out and gave to baq to u.. i need help and guidance.. pls show me de right path and take a decision which i wont regret.. im going mad la.. cant believe im toking to u abt dis.. it sux ya noe.. to be in dis kinda situation.. haiz!! its ok.. time will reveal all..*
hEarTbRokEn wrote on 5:15 AM.
