Friday, November 03, 2006
Aiyo.. so long since i last updated.. all ready to vent out frustration built inside.. damn.. i dont understand y im getting blamed for tings i dint do at all.. dis is de 2nd time its happening.. dont reali wish ta say wad izzit.. its alr hurting to noe dat u were cause for sumting even if u weren't directly involved in the whole ting.. wad's even more hurting is dat both were ma gd frens b4 but due to some reasons we parted.. But still dont dis ppl noe btr abt me.. i reali donno wad ta say but its affecting me alot.. i wish i cud mend tings but i mite jus make tings worse rather den make it btr.. man!! lyf's difficult.. and anoder ting.. y ppl pretend so much.. say 1 ting and do anoder.. still wanna compare ya shitty ass with me.. damn.. im totally diff frm ya.. yea rite u love him alot.. lyk as if.. i dont wish ta let ma blood pressure shoot cos of ya.. i donno y but i feeling very weird dat sumting reali bad is gonna happen.. im nt strong at dis point of time and i've no1 ta lean on 4 support. .der were onli 2 who knew everiting abt me.. one is him and anoder ma bro.. one is high up in heaven while oder is too bz with skool stuff and his lyf.. im feeling as if i have been abandoned.. by de ppl i love alot.. im making mistakes continuously.. i jus dont understand y i cant learn frm ma intial stupid mistake.. haiz.. torn betw de reality and dream world.. i btr make a decision and stick ta it.. cos i cant carry on lyk dis.. i dont wanna a fake happiness.. sumhow, i love being a princess in de dream world den a lonely bitch in reality.. but as all noes, dreams ar just 4 awhile.. it can fade sooner or later.. im reali sry if i had offended any1 wit wat i jus said..
*I cant stop tinking abt everyting.. reading black's testi in ya page made me cry.. how u guys used ta be.. its so obvious as in how much he's missing u.. i wished i cud jus do aniting ta get u baq.. i wud love ta take ya place instead.. but its not possible.. i wan u by ma side.. guide me thru.. stick with me.. cry with me.. smile with me.. everiting u did b4.. i sooo badly nid a hug.. and how i wish it wud be frm u.. at least i gotta noe de truf abt ya feelings.. im happy wid dat.. can nva erase de memories and de love we shared.. love u always sayang!*
hEarTbRokEn wrote on 9:40 PM.
